As you may have guessed, I’m in a mocking mood at the moment (see ‘Why iPads are rubbish’ for example). The iPad is a gold mine for jokes and humor. I’m not a comedy writer by trade, but even I can find an angle to have a quick poke at Apple’s new toy. One question: where do new jokes come from? I used to think there was a genius comedian sitting alone in a dingy apartment, writing fantastic one-liners and throwing them selflessly out of the window. I still think there is one shy comic in his garret churning out the jokes; only nowadays he sends them in anonymous text messages. How else do topical jokes do the rounds so quickly after a major event?
Q. What do you get if you combine an iPad with the drug Flomax?
A. iPeed!
Q. On lighter days, when the iPad doesn’t need to go with the flow, what device should women use?
A. Isn’t that what the iPhone’s for!
Q. How are men’s minds different from women’s?
A. When men think of an iPad, they think: sleek, beautiful, lean, powerful, and they want to caress it like a woman.
When women think of an iPad, they think of a supersized sanitary towel, which roughly performs the same function as a man.
Q. What’s the most embarrassing thing a woman can say about an Apple device?
A. Would you like to use my iPad after I’ve finished with it? (Yuk)
Q. What is Microsoft’s new tablet to be named?
A. The iTampon!
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